In one case, the New York Times reported that innocent, nature loving campers will no longer be safe from gun-toting, maladjusted hill-billies while enjoying time in national parks throughout the nation (that just so happen to be located in states with conceal-carry laws).
"The Bush administration has rushed through a last-minute gun rule that is the antithesis of common sense. The Interior Department published a rule last week that will allow loaded, concealed weapons in nearly all of this country’s national parks."
A warning, then, to our green friends: please do not make any sudden movements while in the park that might be interpreted as threatening. Avoid climbing any trees to enjoy a more expansive view, else you might be mistaken for some type of rodent. Also, make sure to dress very conspicuously (think- bright pastels), so as to never provide a nervous freak with an inkling of suspicion that you might not be human-- but rather some tasty mammal deserving of a bullet in it's fur.
The Times sums up the problem in a far less sarcastic manner:
"The parks were set aside to preserve their natural beauty and provide enjoyment for visitors. Loaded guns — concealed or unconcealed — are completely inconsistent with that purpose and with the enjoyment of visitors who do not wish to come armed."
I foresee stories of happy hippies, fresh out of school and interested in exploring the wilderness, shot down while tromping naked through the woods by some paranoid Trucker who took his kids to the park to "see the trees" but decided it might not be safe, and packed some heat.
(Side Story: The Trucker hears some rustling in the woods after finally stepping foot outside of his vehicle following hours of enjoying the sights through the murky glass of his windows. He quickly reaches inside his vest for 'Ole Betsy, his greased up .45. Catching a flash of some movement, he senses danger -- fueled by an urge to set an example for his terrified children, cowering in the back seat ("What is it Paw? A Coon?!"), he takes aim, fires. Screams of terror echo through the trees back towards our dead-eye Trucker. I didn't think Coons made noises like that, he thinks. Rabid? No, just High.)
Come on people. Is there really a need for our enlightened citizenry to be carrying around concealed weapons in national parks? While visitors to these protected places of tranquility once only had to worry about packing up their garbage to avoid inquisitive and hungry bears, one's chances of leaving the park in a body bag has risen exponentially by allowing this law to go through.
In a second (and more daunting) instance of Bush-induced obfuscation, Harper's reported that Obama's promises to shut down habeas-less Guantanamo and return some legitimacy to the term "a nation of laws, not men," have been given a serious setback by recent legal activity within the Department of Defense.
"Brig. Gen. Thomas W. Hartmann, 53, a lawyer and Air Force reservist who as the top legal adviser and chief administrator of the trials, has managed to put 17 complex war crimes cases on the docket in less than 18 months. Now, Obama’s promise to shutter the facility seems to have spurred Hartmann to even greater activity. Motions and hearings are currently underway in at least half a dozen cases, and this week Gitmo authorities will host an emotional, made-for-TV moment: the first-ever visit to the trials by families of the victims of Sept. 11. Meanwhile, Hartmann’s office confirms that more terrorism trials will be announced sometime before Obama’s inauguration."
While surely one must commend the DoD for giving detainees the ability to have their cases heard in court, the fact that trials are all being initiated under the auspices of Guantanamo closure lends a firm sense of triviality and pretense to the proceedings. Dissenters of this newfound activity, DoD logic goes, cannot help but think that those detainees must be given the opportunity to stand trial, and hence must support continuation of Guantanamo's operation until these cases have been closed.
Unfortunately for the DoD, we have a free press that can see right through these specious acts of Justice who witness a palpable fear initiated by their concluding way of life that has, prior to now, given soldiers and interrogators the ability to live in relative immunity of accountability.
"After years during which prisoners were held without trial, the question is whether this surge in prosecutions and publicity is a case of due process finally starting to work—or a hurried effort designed to tie Obama’s hands as he tries to shut the facility. Once they are under way, Obama could find it politically and legally difficult to stop the controversial proceedings or shift them out of Guantanamo."
By all means, these detainees should be given the chance to have their cases heard by a judge. Those that have plotted to harm Americans should be punished. But this last-minute scramble should not delay the closing of Guantanamo. That place is the relic of a bygone era, a tribute to a way of life that Obama's election has ushered back to the Dark Ages, where it belongs. Let the detainees be held and tried in U.S. Federal Court, where all will serve as judges of the facts that have up until this point, ostensibly justified their indefinite yet scandalous detainment.
The Bush Administration, in these two instances, is perpetuating its legacy of incompetence unnecessarily-- ensuring hints of its tainted influence stick around like a foul taste lingering in the mouth of all who consume politics.
Mouthwash will hopefully come Jan 20.
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